This is the first of a series of posts I hope to do while I still have the time. I won’t declare myself the most experienced person on the planet in any way, shape, or form. I have, however, experienced various things in my life— and I have reason to believe that my memory may be starting the final slow spiral towards oblivion.

I want to talk about things I’ve seen and experienced while I still can do so— before they’re lost forever. The wonderful thing about the internet is that this text uses so little space. I can point the Internet Archive at this site and it, along with whatever successors come in the future, will be able to store this (hopefully) far beyond my lifetime.

The world could end soon in the extinction of all mankind, too, but I’m going to write from a position of hope.

As things stand, I can ‘visibly’ (it’s hard to come up with a good descriptor here, I apologize) see the deterioration of my memory. It’s increasingly frustrating and brings to mind the horror that Flowers for Algernon (book link) struck into my heart when I was young.

It’s true that we all grow old and lose some pieces of ourselves over time, but the one true terror I’ve always had above all others is the idea of losing my ‘self’; ever since I learned that my memory was starting to seriously decay, I’ve wondered when the day will come that I cannot even recognize that I am no longer me.

These posts won’t save me from that day, but perhaps they’ll help someone understand the times in which I lived and the decisions— both good and bad— that I made.

— Firehawke